Tonight

Tonight I will be sitting with friends and family around a beautifully set table. It is my first holiday without you.

I will be surrounded by music and laughter, by friends and loving people. You will not be there to wish me a happy holiday, to hug me, to kiss me, to give me a flower.

Tonight I will offer the performance of a great actress. I will smile, sing, dance and pretend being merry.
Inside I will bleed.

A festivity without you is no happy day at all. It is the absolute oxymoron.
I will not disappoint my friends and loved ones; I will smile and make believe I am happy.
Inside I will bleed.

Nobody will know.

Anna Maria