SEASONS AND YOU

Old Autumn golden crown is showing its rays
Tints of spring are coming in with joy
For shelter or for shade the trees
Spread their green

Sunny and fragrant air
Bathes the morning dew

The beauty and the power of the seasons shine
In a close embrace

Summer golden pride is close
Its powerful perfumed breath feels near

Melodies of morning
I sang for you
Now I can’t hear your steps at my door
Time and life have moved on forgetting me behind.

Anna Maria

Dancing for you

When life is sad I dance. The drums and string instruments quiet my spirit and give wings to my feet, thunder and lightening.

When the beat is strong I immerse myself in it and do not think of you.
The dancing heals my wounds; I dance to heal my wounds but would like to dance for you who caused them.

Dancing into fountains of light I pretend I dance for you. Sway and sway again, wantonly desiring I dance for your shadow.

I dance through time and feelings. You beat to a rhythm that isn’t mine.
Peace is achieved through the song and dance; I can dance out my feelings.

As in the words of Leonard Cohen: “…..dance me to the end of love”

Anna Maria

Anna dances

With her manacles unclasped Anna dances her soaring pain away.
Anna dances and the cuts in her soul begin to heal.

To the beat of the drums and in bare feet she lets the pain flow to the rhythm. The stomping of her feet stomps the pain.
Anna dances and the rainbow appears in the sky.

The drums and marimbas sound together and Anna dances his holding hands that are no more. She stomps her feet in rage and dance.

He will be exorcised, banned from her soul by music and dancing.

Anna Maria

To Silver Wind who likes the sea

What am I doing in Cherbourg? I am alone and there is no hope of forgetting you, even here, in this magic place.

It is night time now. The ocean throbs its waves into the tide, and the waves try to cling to the shore.
As I tried to cling to your love, to no avail.

The sea surges and roars and the wind calls your name.
I crave your hands, your face, and your kisses. I hunger for you as the crests of the waves hunger their return to high seas.

Like the sea, you swallowed everything in me. You took my soul and gave it up, wounded, like the waves tear the sand from the shore in a rustling of salt.

I feel your presence in an errand wave and the wind chills my heart.

Anna Maria

The sea

I am looking at the sea, remembering that bit of sea I could see from your window.
This is a different sea, calm, blue, crystal clear. The calm sea of Cyprus.

Your tiny bit of sea was raging with high waves breaking near the path.
Like your soul, the sea was getting angry without knowing at what. There was no reason, but souls and seas do not understand reasons. They just rage or stay calm.

The beach is empty, I am alone, sitting in the sand and looking at the sea. It is cold, not only outside. I feel the cold inside. I feel cold because your arms are not around me. They will not be around me anymore. I lost you.

Like a wave you came and like that same wave you left.

Anna Maria

Tonight

Tonight I will be sitting with friends and family around a beautifully set table. It is my first holiday without you.

I will be surrounded by music and laughter, by friends and loving people. You will not be there to wish me a happy holiday, to hug me, to kiss me, to give me a flower.

Tonight I will offer the performance of a great actress. I will smile, sing, dance and pretend being merry.
Inside I will bleed.

A festivity without you is no happy day at all. It is the absolute oxymoron.
I will not disappoint my friends and loved ones; I will smile and make believe I am happy.
Inside I will bleed.

Nobody will know.

Anna Maria

Loving you

You were sad, looked sad and lost. I wanted to share your sadness, take it away from you. I wanted to banish sadness from your heart and didn’t mind taking it with me.
I wanted to see you happy.
Happiness can be shared with many. Sadness can only be shared with those who love you.

I love you. I didn’t choose to love you, it just happened.
It is inevitable, nothing you can do about it, love chooses you and you can’t choose who to love. Cupid’s arrows are invisible.

I fell for you hook, line and sinker and the best I could do was accept the mystery of it all. I knew you were not by my side to stay. I hoped I could make you smile and even laugh before it was over.

The day came and it was over and I just had to let go and be thankful for the joy you brought into my life.
If you loved, you have been alive. I was and am alive and thank Heaven for warming my soul with the wonderful gift of love.

Anna Maria

An old picture

Today I found an old picture of us together, smiling, holding hands, happy.

Looking at it I thought living a great love, even if you lose it, it’s a gift from Heaven.
If you never loved and felt loved in that very special way, you never lived fully, entirely.

Having loved truly and intensely makes you understand how different the world can be.
The mornings are not the same when you can touch your love with your hands smell it and feel it. The world is not the same in any way. Like the mornings.

There is no need to be afraid. If you lose it, the memories will never be lost. Every time you remember, a smile will manifest itself in your lips.

Never be afraid to love. I loved, I lost my love but I never stopped loving him.

Anna Maria

The pain

I saw the pain in your eyes, it surfaced from deep inside.

You were alone, felt alone and had that sad look about you.
My hand went to take yours and my heart tried to warm your heart.
For a moment in time, hands and hearts touched and I saw the pain flying away. It flew and got lost in the clouds.

Today I wake up without you, but your pain became mine.
I don’t know which word I didn’t say. Which one was the word you were expecting to hear? Which word did you need me to say?
Which word did you need and I didn’t have?

How easy it was to love you and how hard it is to lose you.

Anna Maria