SHADES OF GREEN AND BLUE

Shades of green and blue color the heave and hurl of the swells embraced by a silver winged breeze.
A room with a tiny view of the sea. The sea that calls for you and me but I sit here alone.

Free and calm waves woven from sea spells caress the sand as you used to caress me.
No more.
Salty air meets my lips, the breeze cools my spirit.

Deep azure waves smash the rocks and the soft sand and seems like eternity since I last saw you.
In the tranquility of the tides I can hear the gulls squawk.
The sun is going down and shines from heaven into the sea.

My tears trickle down to the sea, salt and salty mix.

Like Alfonsina I wish to see the sea floor while eternity passes.

Anna Maria

Anna dances

With her manacles unclasped Anna dances her soaring pain away.
Anna dances and the cuts in her soul begin to heal.

To the beat of the drums and in bare feet she lets the pain flow to the rhythm. The stomping of her feet stomps the pain.
Anna dances and the rainbow appears in the sky.

The drums and marimbas sound together and Anna dances his holding hands that are no more. She stomps her feet in rage and dance.

He will be exorcised, banned from her soul by music and dancing.

Anna Maria

To Silver Wind who likes the sea

What am I doing in Cherbourg? I am alone and there is no hope of forgetting you, even here, in this magic place.

It is night time now. The ocean throbs its waves into the tide, and the waves try to cling to the shore.
As I tried to cling to your love, to no avail.

The sea surges and roars and the wind calls your name.
I crave your hands, your face, and your kisses. I hunger for you as the crests of the waves hunger their return to high seas.

Like the sea, you swallowed everything in me. You took my soul and gave it up, wounded, like the waves tear the sand from the shore in a rustling of salt.

I feel your presence in an errand wave and the wind chills my heart.

Anna Maria

Tonight

Tonight I will be sitting with friends and family around a beautifully set table. It is my first holiday without you.

I will be surrounded by music and laughter, by friends and loving people. You will not be there to wish me a happy holiday, to hug me, to kiss me, to give me a flower.

Tonight I will offer the performance of a great actress. I will smile, sing, dance and pretend being merry.
Inside I will bleed.

A festivity without you is no happy day at all. It is the absolute oxymoron.
I will not disappoint my friends and loved ones; I will smile and make believe I am happy.
Inside I will bleed.

Nobody will know.

Anna Maria

Loving you

You were sad, looked sad and lost. I wanted to share your sadness, take it away from you. I wanted to banish sadness from your heart and didn’t mind taking it with me.
I wanted to see you happy.
Happiness can be shared with many. Sadness can only be shared with those who love you.

I love you. I didn’t choose to love you, it just happened.
It is inevitable, nothing you can do about it, love chooses you and you can’t choose who to love. Cupid’s arrows are invisible.

I fell for you hook, line and sinker and the best I could do was accept the mystery of it all. I knew you were not by my side to stay. I hoped I could make you smile and even laugh before it was over.

The day came and it was over and I just had to let go and be thankful for the joy you brought into my life.
If you loved, you have been alive. I was and am alive and thank Heaven for warming my soul with the wonderful gift of love.

Anna Maria

My soul stopped smiling and to convince it to smile again I took the violin and started playing. The music cleansed my soul and it started smiling again.

The Spanish writer and poet Calderon de la Barca wrote that if love is not insane it is not love at all.
Probably he was right because insanity is creeping on me and the only reason is love. I don’t really mind this, since I believe people that prefer rationality and run away from insanity will never feel real love.

Everything changed so much in such a short time. You went and all of a sudden the world that had a perfect meaning became meaningless. The perfect blossoming rainbow shattered with the absence of your touch.

My thoughts wander to you by themselves and sometimes I feel unable to breathe if I don’t see you again. I am dying inside.

I will never say goodbye because you will always be with me, inside my soul.

Anna Maria

Treasure every moment

Today is called the present because that is exactly what it is – a present life gives us.
It should be treasured, every single moment of it. Life and time wait for no one; it will not wait for you.
Tomorrow is just a maybe; nobody knows what it will bring and yesterday is already over.
Treasure the present, the today, the now and whatever brings tomorrow that will be the present.
If you can live your present, your gift, loving somebody then it does not matter what tomorrow brings.
Live and love.

Anna Maria

The face of love

Maybe for the world you are just somebody, but to me you are my entire world because I love you.
They say love has many faces, it’s not true. For me it has only one face. Yours is the face of love.

I could see the world in your eyes and your eyes everywhere I went. I wanted to see your love in them, but did not succeed.
Your love wasn’t there, not for me.

I could not stop loving you no matter how hard I tried. Love is life’s sweetest and the most bitter of all mysteries.