I REMEMBER YOU

How often do I remember you?

Over the blue waters I see your face, feel your hands.
The wind carries my sigh over the waves murmur.
Shades of evening bring the missing smell of your hair, your breath.
The morning dew draws your figure in my window pane, as if weeping with me.
Breaking across the ocean’s flood, the swift rush of the waves call your name in mingled sounds of earth and air.
Like the rush of the sea or the sound of angels wings.

The sad stream of my love ran silently towards the stormy ocean of your life.
It wound through dark and light under all skies.
You never cared or shared my sigh.

Anna Maria

A MELODY OF LOVE

A melody may teach a lover where love is.
Silver dressed in the moonlight, bathed by heaven and the evening star
a melody of gold tangling your hair
like a clamor of love caught in a song.

Our voices in the wind, air shapes the sound
of all the moons and suns of the days we were in love.
A tide of feelings and awe and wonder swells inside me.
The awe and wonder of true love.

Anna Maria

To Silver Wind who likes the sea

What am I doing in Cherbourg? I am alone and there is no hope of forgetting you, even here, in this magic place.

It is night time now. The ocean throbs its waves into the tide, and the waves try to cling to the shore.
As I tried to cling to your love, to no avail.

The sea surges and roars and the wind calls your name.
I crave your hands, your face, and your kisses. I hunger for you as the crests of the waves hunger their return to high seas.

Like the sea, you swallowed everything in me. You took my soul and gave it up, wounded, like the waves tear the sand from the shore in a rustling of salt.

I feel your presence in an errand wave and the wind chills my heart.

Anna Maria

Tonight

Tonight I will be sitting with friends and family around a beautifully set table. It is my first holiday without you.

I will be surrounded by music and laughter, by friends and loving people. You will not be there to wish me a happy holiday, to hug me, to kiss me, to give me a flower.

Tonight I will offer the performance of a great actress. I will smile, sing, dance and pretend being merry.
Inside I will bleed.

A festivity without you is no happy day at all. It is the absolute oxymoron.
I will not disappoint my friends and loved ones; I will smile and make believe I am happy.
Inside I will bleed.

Nobody will know.

Anna Maria

Loving you

You were sad, looked sad and lost. I wanted to share your sadness, take it away from you. I wanted to banish sadness from your heart and didn’t mind taking it with me.
I wanted to see you happy.
Happiness can be shared with many. Sadness can only be shared with those who love you.

I love you. I didn’t choose to love you, it just happened.
It is inevitable, nothing you can do about it, love chooses you and you can’t choose who to love. Cupid’s arrows are invisible.

I fell for you hook, line and sinker and the best I could do was accept the mystery of it all. I knew you were not by my side to stay. I hoped I could make you smile and even laugh before it was over.

The day came and it was over and I just had to let go and be thankful for the joy you brought into my life.
If you loved, you have been alive. I was and am alive and thank Heaven for warming my soul with the wonderful gift of love.

Anna Maria

My soul stopped smiling and to convince it to smile again I took the violin and started playing. The music cleansed my soul and it started smiling again.

The Spanish writer and poet Calderon de la Barca wrote that if love is not insane it is not love at all.
Probably he was right because insanity is creeping on me and the only reason is love. I don’t really mind this, since I believe people that prefer rationality and run away from insanity will never feel real love.

Everything changed so much in such a short time. You went and all of a sudden the world that had a perfect meaning became meaningless. The perfect blossoming rainbow shattered with the absence of your touch.

My thoughts wander to you by themselves and sometimes I feel unable to breathe if I don’t see you again. I am dying inside.

I will never say goodbye because you will always be with me, inside my soul.

Anna Maria

Regrets

To feel regrets is to feel a sense of longing, you remember with a feeling of loss.

Most probably, you can’t change the circumstances but you don’t have to regret nothing.
If you look closely, something good came out of that sad circumstance, even the smallest of all things, but something.

You may have lived in a secure world and felt your boat was always at a secure harbor. One day you discover this was not exactly the case, something happens and you start regretting.

Don’t, risk taking is the most natural thing. You learn from it, whether it was a good or a bad experience.
That is the only way to play the game of living.

Stop yourself then and there, do not regret. You did your best, you gave your best.
It may have turned out differently if you had done differently? Maybe, but then you would be missing that particular experience.

One door closes and another opens, grandma told us so and it is true.

Love and live with every single atom in your body, be free of guilt and regrets.

Anna Maria